Happy Halloween! I was Poison Ivy on Saturday night, hanging out with my bff Harley Quinn, fellow criminal Catwoman, my foe Batman, Dr. Who, Indiana Jones, & a cop! What did you do?
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Music Monday: Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween! I was Poison Ivy on Saturday night, hanging out with my bff Harley Quinn, fellow criminal Catwoman, my foe Batman, Dr. Who, Indiana Jones, & a cop! What did you do?
Friday, October 28, 2011
Make Me Stay
This quarter I am enrolled in a course that leaves me incredibly stressed out. It leaves me up all night worrying, not just because of the workload, but because this course focuses on something I never like thinking too hard about, the future. Every session there has been talk about graduating, about the possibility of not graduating, about starting professional careers.
In some ways, I know I'm panicking more than I should. Throughout life, I have trusted that things will work themselves out for no reason other than they always do, and I know this to be true now. But I know this type of worry very well, it was with me about a year and a half ago.
Los Angeles wasn't in my plans. Mostly because I hate planning long term & avoid it when possible. Also because Southern California never sounded very appealing. I believed every negative stereotype about this city. That it was a place where people went to pursue entertainment careers and often failed, it was much too big and much too traffic congested, it was a place where people don't care about each other. But I moved. & I was wrong for the most part about the negative stereotypes, I have a much more positive view of Los Angeles (which I refuse to refer to as the city because everyone knows "The City" is San Francisco). Yes, I have had my heart broken, my wallet stolen, & have become closer to being roadkill than ever before. But I did find things that I love, I found places that felt like home in my heart and have become familiar, I've met some really amazing people that I care very much about.
What worried me most about moving here wasn't confronting those stereotypes. It was the fact that I felt I could just leave. I put off the decision as long as possible because I was waiting for something to make me stay. It wasn't even a particular something, it could have been anything. A job offer, a friend who really needed me to be there, a pickle in the shape of a saint (not really on that last one). Just some kind of sign that I wasn't meant to leave. But it never happened so I signed a housing contract and on September 1, 2010, I suddenly found myself in a strange apartment with every familiar item I'd be seeing for a while in boxes around me.
Now as I do weekly perusing of job postings, it seems much easier to find things that happen to be "somewhere else". & while I have filled out those forms, sent them off with cover letters, and copies of my resume, I have been secretly wishing (& not wanting to admit, of course) that I had a reason to fight to stay here, that there was something to make me stay. To be honest, I feel like Los Angeles takes an especially long time to appreciate & that it is much easier to love when you aren't spending so many days indoors doing research so yes, spending a few more years here would be nice. I wish I felt more like I belonged. I wish that someone here knew me well enough to know I was spending entire nights worrying & wasn't easily fooled by my secret weapon. Although the time I've spent here as made me grow as a person, I wonder if I affected anyone at all or if our crossing paths was just that, a brief interaction. I selfishly want to be missed if/when I leave. I think I will always be excited for a new adventure and content with moving around. But I will forever be wishing for a reason to stay in one place.
In some ways, I know I'm panicking more than I should. Throughout life, I have trusted that things will work themselves out for no reason other than they always do, and I know this to be true now. But I know this type of worry very well, it was with me about a year and a half ago.
Los Angeles wasn't in my plans. Mostly because I hate planning long term & avoid it when possible. Also because Southern California never sounded very appealing. I believed every negative stereotype about this city. That it was a place where people went to pursue entertainment careers and often failed, it was much too big and much too traffic congested, it was a place where people don't care about each other. But I moved. & I was wrong for the most part about the negative stereotypes, I have a much more positive view of Los Angeles (which I refuse to refer to as the city because everyone knows "The City" is San Francisco). Yes, I have had my heart broken, my wallet stolen, & have become closer to being roadkill than ever before. But I did find things that I love, I found places that felt like home in my heart and have become familiar, I've met some really amazing people that I care very much about.
What worried me most about moving here wasn't confronting those stereotypes. It was the fact that I felt I could just leave. I put off the decision as long as possible because I was waiting for something to make me stay. It wasn't even a particular something, it could have been anything. A job offer, a friend who really needed me to be there, a pickle in the shape of a saint (not really on that last one). Just some kind of sign that I wasn't meant to leave. But it never happened so I signed a housing contract and on September 1, 2010, I suddenly found myself in a strange apartment with every familiar item I'd be seeing for a while in boxes around me.
Now as I do weekly perusing of job postings, it seems much easier to find things that happen to be "somewhere else". & while I have filled out those forms, sent them off with cover letters, and copies of my resume, I have been secretly wishing (& not wanting to admit, of course) that I had a reason to fight to stay here, that there was something to make me stay. To be honest, I feel like Los Angeles takes an especially long time to appreciate & that it is much easier to love when you aren't spending so many days indoors doing research so yes, spending a few more years here would be nice. I wish I felt more like I belonged. I wish that someone here knew me well enough to know I was spending entire nights worrying & wasn't easily fooled by my secret weapon. Although the time I've spent here as made me grow as a person, I wonder if I affected anyone at all or if our crossing paths was just that, a brief interaction. I selfishly want to be missed if/when I leave. I think I will always be excited for a new adventure and content with moving around. But I will forever be wishing for a reason to stay in one place.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Sketchbook Project 2012
I think I won't be able to get much done in my sketchbook until winter break because this quarter has been so crazy! At any rate, here are a few pages!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Links! Links! My Kingdom for Your Links!
Hello hello hello! I am in need of updating my blog roll you see on the side bar over there. I am going to remove blogs which are no longer active (where did you go?), update links to those that have moved (oh there you are!), & adding yours in if you would like me to do so (nice to meet you!). Thanks for your assistance!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Music Monday: Air
I almost got to see them live once upon a time & I am still so so so disappointment it never worked out.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Music Monday: Feist
Not much on YouTube regarding her brilliant new album, so here's an old favorite.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
One Chord Love Song
Well this is a bit old & a little embarrassing (content & being in lounge mode on the inernet now). But I am writing a paper about YouTube which involved me snooping through my own account. My former guitar teacher used to always recommend recording the times I spent practicing in order to look back, critique, and improve. This results in me finding odd things much later.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Why I Hate to Hear You Say, "I'm Sorry".
I so wanted to write about this & everything that led up to it, but I also didn't want to make anyone feel like I was taking a jab at them. But I think everyone that I'd feel good about discussing things with already knows anyway.
I'll just say I'm glad to be coming out of the melancholy mood I've been in for the past or month or so!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)