So Artificial

Glimpses of my Home

I have begun the process of very slowly dissembling my Los Angeles apartment. Regardless of where I end up (even if I stay in this city, but a different part of town), I moved here taking only what would fit in my stepmom's car & that's exactly what I need to have when I move out because renting things is pricey! I've kind of been bringing things home & sending things back with my parents on our visits so it's a gradual change, but my belongings are definitely thinning out. I actually am shocked at how much I've acquired since moving down! I have a tendency to feel like I need to fill a space & make it cozy immediately upon settling in so the rooms I occupy seem to end up looking a bit granny.

Anyway, I wanted to document what my living space was like here before my living space became another place! Because I love my organizing cubes so much, I am dedicating this first "home" post to them!



This thing was so simple & easy to put together, the only con is that it's so heavy when it's all one piece! I used to keep this in my bathroom in my first apartment, but I was better able to utilize the space in this bedroom so I'm keeping it there, but it still kind of serves batthroom-y services. The bottom two bins are full of crafting/art supplies. One of them has painting stuff & the other has fabric stuff. In the middle cubes, I keep extra fabric & my bathroom towels.



The top cubes keep makeup stuff on one side & hair stuff on the other. I honestly need to go through & throw away a lot of stuff! Much of what's in those makeup bags are samples that I didn't like & honestly of those hair things I only recommend & use the Redken curl cream & the Tresemme dry shampoo.



This is the top! Basically I just keep my girly fluff stuff there.

Music Monday: Paper Aeroplanes

Early Morning

Stay Mobile

No one talks of reading on a Kindle with all the passion they do for a book. But let me tell you, books are no fun to carry, they are often too thick, too heavy. I am less concerned about owning things as long as I have access. I am trying to simplify, to travel light. I'm trying to prepare myself to be prepared for anything.

Favorite Face

No matter how many weird makeup purchases I make (mostly based on packaging, I admit), my favorite look is always forever a simple, fresh face with a bold lip. Lately my very favorite lipstick has been MAC's, "Diva". It looks scary dark in the tube, a little bit goth-y/vamp-y when first applied, & fades over the day into an almost raspberry shade.

Do you have a go-to makeup look?

Journal: September 16th, 2011

Chilly this morning, but I don't mind because I have a perfect sweater. The one that feels a little too itchy & maybe a half size too small unless the weather's just right. The weather is changing, even here in Los Angeles where the weather never changes. The sun comes home early & sleeps in late.

I thought about getting a second coffee to have on my walk, but decided against it. I don't want to have an open cup on the subway & when I drink anything, I like to take my time. Coffee. Wine. One for the morning, one for the night.

I've inquired about a job in San Francisco nine months too soon. Did you leave your heart in San Francisco? I've left mine in so many places, I'm not sure I can still claim it as my own.

Lonely in Los Angeles

Music Monday: Russian Red

I still love her.

You're the Only Thing I Ever Want Anymore

Okay so the other awesome thing I did last weekend was to go see The National play! The Hollywood Bowl again so I won't bore you with too many pictures since I still didn't have very great seats & there were no fireworks this time. It was just so good & I really want to see them again in a more intimate venue! I'm barely coming down from the post-show needing to listen to them all the time, can't sit still while listening to them, ohmygoodness, ohmygoodness! phase.

I did get a very touristy picture of the sign since I wanted to make sure I took at least one in my time living here!




So yeah, it was really great! Even though I was such a zombie the next day at work, I can't think of a better way to have spent the evening!

Spectacular!

So one of the other things I did last weekend was to see the Tchaikovsky Spectacular at the Hollywood Bowl! I really like Tchaikovsky so even the firework free parts seemed pretty spectacular to me.


L.A. Phil did a really wonderful job! They played "Romeo & Juliet", "Rococo Variations", music from "Swan Lake", & "1812". "1812" is when the spectacular part of the spectacular began. Fireworks! It was so over-dramatic & very Tchaikovsky-y, I think he would have appreciated it.

At first it was like, "oh, fireworks, there they go."

Then it was like, "Whoa!"

& then it was like "WHOAOAOAOOAOAOAOAOAOAO What even is this? Amazing! It's amazing!"




& then it was all smokey & we left in a fit of giggles.

The Future

I have again found myself in the position of having no idea as to where I'll be next year. While this is something I generally find thrilling, there is, of course, always this element of anxiety attached. While I can't guarantee I can remember the exact details of what I was doing this day in 2009, I can tell you I had either just taken the GRE or was still lugging around the giant book to help me study for it, finalizing which schools I was willing to shell out the money to apply to (I settled on 3 because it is my favorite number & I am incredibly superstitious), & generally planning on a quiet academic career that would take a backseat to other things.

There's no need to go into all the details because I think we all know how things turned out. In October of that year I suddenly found my vague plans being not plans at all. I changed a few details on my applications, sent them off with a wish for the best, & experienced a few months of "???????" that were actually really wonderful. After several of those questions were answered, I ended up doing what I've been doing for the past year here in Los Angeles, but once again, I find myself faced with the question of what to do from here.

Being afraid of the "???" wasn't really an issue when I was applying to graduate schools. It had all the perks of an exciting, new adventure, with the additional safety of knowing it didn't have to be permanent, & that there would be financial aid (thanks, government, I will be paying you back soon enough). My anxiety at that time was mostly about the fact that I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave my hometown at all. It had been home for eleven years & I was very happy there.

Currently, my anxiety is more pressing as the safety net is minimal. I could always burden my parents again with my awesome grad school loans & need for shelter & food should my job searches prove unsuccessful, but I really don't want to do that. I have more worries this time over will there be a job out there for me? Will it pay enough? Will it make me happy? & again, the question that eats me up is where do I want to live? Where should I be looking for my next home?

Part of me wants to stay in Los Angeles for another year or so post graduation to see what it's like to be here as something besides a student. The other part is worried that the "let's stay" part is also the part that enjoys the comfort of familiarity & the part that never wanted to move here to begin with. This part acknowledges that I don't really need to stay in Los Angeles. I have few friends here, most of which are also grad students that are likely to be leaving soon. I have no family here & do not have enough ghosts in this city to feel tied down.

I have decided again to send out many applications & wish for the best. When the time comes, I will look for jobs in Los Angeles, but also anywhere else that sounds like a good place to spend the next few years. I'm ready again to let things work out as they will & I know that eventually, they will work out well.

El Pescador

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/22223338]

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/22182835]

This weekend was pretty busy. Or I don't know, is it busy when you're doing fun things? I don't know. It was full. One of the things I did over the weekend was to go see some short films put out by Mexican film makers. We didn't get to stay for very long unfortunately because of the aforementioned fullness, we soon had to be somewhere else. But the few short films we did see were pretty fantastic. "El Pescador" was my favorite. It was so beautiful, it hurt. The score, the story, the questions, ahhhhgghghgh perfect! I appreciate short films probably the same way I appreciate short stories which is considerably more than something longer. I think it takes incredible skill to tell a rich, full story in just a few minutes. "El Pescador" is visual poetry. If you can find a way to see it, please do!

Music Monday: Amy Millan

She has always needed more attention paid to her solo work.

1. 2. 3!

Here we go!

Since I didn't share as much of the "in progress" bits as usual, here is a brief summary:

Currently

Coming along . . .

Music Monday: Uncle Mountain

As always, I'd like to know what you're listening to lately.

One Little, Two Little, Three Little Ugly Birds . . .

This is becoming a small-ish painting. It currently looks more like this:

One of my friends back home was attempting to rush paint some matryoshka doll artwork for me because she's awesome, but wasn't able to finish before I actually visited. Anyway, I was kind of enamored with her elaborate designs & was like, " I wanna try!"

But of course, my drawing style differs greatly from this friend of mine so I kind of put the want aside for a while thinking it would be far too complicated & time consuming & something I would botch up. Then there was one day when I was doodling pictures of penguins in my journal which of course morphed into ugly birds. & Then there were many ugly birds of various sizes & you can see how things went from there! Anyway, this one has been so fun to work on that I've been working quite slowly. I almost never want it to be finished!